Grave Mercy: Robin LaFevers

We've all seen it before: the meek, vulnerable damsel-in-distress who, after some sort of tragedy, finds it within herself to pull through and grow a spine of steel. But only a select few can make it real and make it good. Shockingly, Grave Mercy managed to do both.

Breakdown:

Ismae, a seventeen-year-old with a father who hates her and a mother who died in childbirth, runs away after a marriage to disgusting pig farmer Guillo and is secreted off to the Convent of St. Mortain, where those Marked by Death still continue to serve the gods of old. Once there, she is offered a choice: learn the art of killing and become the wolf rather than the sheep, or turn away and be offered to a kind man in need of a wife.

Not shockingly, Ismae chooses servitude to Mortain, to become a trained assassin and handmaiden to death. Her first assignment brings her into the heart of royals and cutthroat politics. Her mission? Keep a close, dedicated eye on Gavriel Duval, a mysterious and handsome man who the Convent believes to have bad intentions. Also while there, she must fight for an important Duchess named Anne's future and avoid the sly, calculating, slimy man known as D'Albret, whose plans are nefarious and reek of dubious plots.

Too bad she falls in love with Gavriel instead, resulting in a situation that people nowadays like to call "being screwed". Thus ensues your trademarked forbidden love story, only Ismae has a refreshingly firm sense of right and wrong, and does not bounce back and forth with her decision-making. Deciding against killing Gavriel, she incites the Convent's wrath upon herself, only to realize that she never needed them to become the wolf. Only to show her what she could become.

Things I Disliked:

Look, I get it's 1485 and everything, but after a while, m'lord and m'lady get to be kind of tiring. Would it kill you, Robin, to use first names now and then? And enough with propriety! When some gross dude has you slammed up against a wall and is trying to feel you up, I don't think playing a simpering maid is in the cards. More like a knee to the genitals!

Ismae--really? That's what I hate about YA: I mean, I hate the name Violet as much as the next person, but I feel like authors go above and beyond trying to make their characters' names 'stand out'.

Even after Ismae and Gavriel fall in love, Ismae still refers to him as Duval. After sharing your bed with your lover (I'm cringing as I write these words) I'd think it would be acceptable to call them by their Christian name.

D'Albret. I know you're supposed to hate him, but I really hated him. Like, I wanted to jump into the book and stab him in the chest--or maybe cut his head off. Well, either way, points go to LaFevers for doing a bang-up job of a villain.

Overall Rating:

4.5 out of 5: I really did enjoy this book. The characters were believable and likable--most of them--and had a straight set of morals, but at the same time knew things weren't always in black and white. I appreciated the fresh take on the simpering maiden and can I just say that this book is a fantastic example of FEMINISM! I totally recommend this, but know that it's pretty long, so be prepared to stay awake for a long time at night.

Halo: Alexandra Adornetto

You'd think that we could have left angels behind in the bible, but no, they just keep appearing. Halo is essentially a biblical love story infused with (not funny) humor and a vintage message: love is okay, as long as it doesn't become serious. But if it does, that's okay, because it saves lives! (Gag-worthy.)

Breakdown:

Bethany Church, an angel sent with a mission to save the tiny town of Venus Cove from evildoers, along with her "brother" Gabriel and her "sister" Ivy, royally screws up when she falls in love (again, gag me) with a human boy by the name of Xavier. Going undercover at the local high school to keep things peaceful, she gets a lot more than she bargains for when, just as her and Xavier's relationship starts to go somewhere, it is sabotaged by the arrival of a demon sent literally from hell, named Jake Thorn. Meant to cause chaos and stir up trouble in Venus Cove, he quickly accumulates a group of loyal followers dedicated to making the tiny town into a hellhole capable of unnameable evils. With the help of Xavier, Gabriel, and Ivy, Bethany attempts to rid the town (well, the entire world, really) of Jake Thorn and his evil influence, but quickly discovers that demons aren't easily defeated, even when you say please. Ending on a cliffhanger, you will hate the author for writing it because now you have to read the next book (and the next one) BECAUSE NO ONE CAN SIMPLY STOP READING WHEN YOU END A BOOK LIKE THAT. (Jesus, she's almost as bad as Cassandra Clare.)

Things I Disliked:

Why the heck did God (or whoever runs things up there) send Bethany down there on the mission? She's clearly not trained enough. Falling in love with Xavier proves it!

So they decide to take a nice little flight in the MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON, and are somehow surprised when they find out they're not alone? Christ, are angels idiots now, too?

This might stem from the fact I'm not religious in the least, but honestly, the author spends the first seventy pages preaching the beauty of God! For someone who has never, not once ever, in her life went to church, this became a hell of an obstacle to jump over. It took everything I had to go through with it.

Jake Thorn looks demonic, and yet Bethany waits until he's killing people to get Gabriel and Ivy a little bit concerned? Isn't that kind of idiotic? Like, "oh, better tell my siblings about this evil murderer after he's killed ten people already!"

Alexandra Adornetto writes like she assumes the people reading her books are idiots. And sometimes, I think, scholars from Oxford University. Her writing is so inconsistent I had to take multiple breaks just to avoid getting a migraine from her terrible writing skills.

Overall Rating:

2 out of 5: There was really nothing I liked about this book, so a two is generous. Overly generous. I don't recommend this book. It is tedious and excessively aggravating. Long story short: value your sanity? Don't read it.

Desires of the Dead: Kimberly Derting

Desires of the Dead, the second book in the Body Finder series, has Violet, a girl capable of matching echoes of murdered bodies with the imprints left on their killers, pitted against an evil unlike anything she's faced before in this blood-chilling thriller and coming-of-age romance.

Breakdown:

Not going to lie, Derting scares me somewhat with her ability to get in the mind of her killers. How accurate it all is, and how sickening they come across (Well, they are serial killers, what else would you expect?) with every life they take. After Violet's lifelong guy friend, Jay, becomes her boyfriend, her entire life changes, and not just because they're not doing homework when they hang out together. Her ability has caught the eye of the FBI, most specifically Agent Sara Priest, who wants Violet to help her match the imprints of killers to the echoes of their victims. After a lifetime spent safeguarding her secret, the idea of being able to use her power to help instead of hide vanishes her indecision. With a new partner by the name of Rafe, who simultaneously freaks her out as he draws her in, and a bunch of creepy clues that point towards a girl and her brother newly moved to Violet's sleepy town, she stumbles upon something more terrifying than she's ever come across: a man so desperate to be loved he would kill the one woman who does just to save himself the pain of her rejection.

What I Disliked:

It's creepy how accurate Derting is in her writing, not to mention outright unnerving. Seriously, is she a serial killer herself? Because it seems that way.

Secondly, who the hell names their kid Violet? How stupid of a name can you get? Sorry, but all I can think of is Violet from Feed by M.T. Anderson, saying, "That's meg awesome." Barf.

Also, how does Violet's inability to walk away from the dead not go noticed? Not many people get up in the middle of the night to investigate dead bodies in a creepy forest in the middle of nowhere. And they wonder why she looks so freaked out all the time!

Overall Rating:

5 out of 5: Sure, it may be creepy, but that's sort of the point, isn't it? And even though what Violet can do seems improbable, the way Derting writes makes it seem less impossible. The writing is descriptive, eerie, haunting, and mysterious, and makes you want to keep reading, which is something not all authors can do.

Confessions of a Murder Suspect: James Patterson

The first book (in yet another!) trilogy, Tandy Angel and her brothers, Harry and Hugo, are all sleeping when police knock on their door and say the one thing that changes their lives forever in this exciting, action-packed, mysterious story about a girl struggling to find her way in a world she doesn't understand.

Breakdown:

Plot: When Tandy, Matthew, Harry, and Hugo Angel find their parents, Malcolm and Maud Angel, dead in their room, the police in charge of the investigation believe that one of them murdered the very wealthy socialites. Tandy, desperate to find the killer (even if it is herself), finds herself stumbling upon a lot more than just the cause of Malcolm and Maud's death. For starters, her memories start coming back after she stops taking her pills she'd been given, that enhanced everything about her, including her ability to feel emotion (which she didn't, until she stopped taking them). She remembers her first love, James Rampling, son of the equally wealthy socialite Royal Rampling, who'd planned on suing Malcolm and Maud for money fraud and general misdemeanor. Through the questioning of neighbors, herself, and even her own family, Tandy finds a lot more than she bargains for when she stumbles upon the discovery that she and her siblings had been enhanced by medication, drugged without their knowledge by their own parent. Thus ensues a fiery hatred of two people they thought they could trust who had lied about everything. Also the discovery that Malcolm may not have been as faithful to Maud as they thought, as Matthew finds out that his girlfriend, movie star Tamara Gee, was impregnated...not by Matthew, but by his father. Not only that, but Maud's assistant, Samantha Peck, may have been more than just a helper. After so many horrifying discoveries, Tandy's unsure if she can handle one more surprise...but when she finds out the real reason why her parents died that fateful night, absolutely everything changes.

Things I Disliked:

Totally not realistic. Kids at their age would never have been so outrightly accused, especially not without a lawyer present. Secondly, Tandy's parents are complete and utter monsters, but she and her brothers forgive them anyways. The way they find out the truth about their parent's death is totally impossible, and the way the cops act is a total opposite of them in real life. I mean, really. Seriously, it's very far-fetched.

Secondly, there's no way Malcolm could have gotten Tamara pregnant without anyone finding out about it, and I find it very hard to believe there's any possible way the Angels' neighbor could have planted so many video cameras in their huge apartment without their knowing, let alone videotape Malcolm and Maud's death.

Thirdly, Maud was dying from cancer! Wouldn't that be sort of obvious? Like, hey, I'm losing my hair! Or, hey, I've been visiting the doctor lately, have you not noticed?

Overall Rating:

4 out of 5: I love James Patterson, really I do, but honestly, this book just had too many things wrong with it. Sorry, man, but I just can't give it a five. However, James Patterson is not named the master storyteller for nothing, and he proves his worth in every page, even if not everything makes sense.

The Infernal Devices: Cassandra Clare

For starters, I really disliked The Mortal Instruments. I thought it was annoying, bloated, and I hated Clary's character. On the other hand, I truly enjoyed the Infernal Devices, specifically Clockwork Prince, the second book in the trilogy about Victorian London Shadowhunters.

Breakdown:

Plot: when Tessa Gray, a girl who thought she was ordinary with the extraordinary power to Change into other people, living or dead, is rescued from the home of the Dark Sisters, evil warlocks, she is pulled into the world of the Shadowhunters, trained fighters descended from angels whose lives are dedicated to ridding the world of demons, and, occasionally, the one or two Downworlders who decide to act out. Enter Will Herondale, an obnoxiously handsome, know-it-all, rude seventeen-year-old, Tessa's rescuer who proceeds to become her torturer. As we later find out, Will acts the way he does not because he's truly cruel, but because he was 'cursed' by a demon when he was a young child who said that whoever loved him would die a very painful death, which caused him to push away everyone he cared about by being callous and saying the worst things possible to make others hate him. Will's parabatai (two fighting partners who are practically linked together and are expected to give up their lives for each other in battle) is James Carstairs, otherwise known as Jem, who is a kind, light-hearted, intelligent, and a fragile but strong individual, who is secretly in love with Tessa. (We find out in the Clockwork Prince.) Jem's parents were tortured when he was a young child. The torture included making his parents watch their only child be force-fed yin fen (otherwise known as opium) until he was addicted to the substance, which he must now take to live. After both his parents were murdered, Jem fled the Shanghai Institute and found himself at the London Institute instead, where, just like Will, he was taken in by Charlotte and Henry, the people in charge of running the Institute. Among these characters are Jessamine, a conceited, ungrateful, beautiful brat who is resentful of her Shadowhunter upbringing and wishes to marry a gentleman and escape the life she was thrown into, as well as Tessa's brother, Nate, who turns out to be a backstabbing traitor in the end of Clockwork Angel. The villain in the Infernal Devices is Mortmain, otherwise known as the shadowy Magister, who will stop at nothing to claim Tessa for his own. As well as his evil intentions towards Tessa, he is also creating an army of automatons, mechanic machines infused with the life essence of demons, which are given the name the Infernal Devices. Other struggles the Shadowhunters must face during the books are the questioning of the running of the Institute, betrayal from those the Shadowhunters believed they could always trust, evil plot twists brought on by Mortmain, and the ever-lurking danger of the Infernal Devices.

Things I Disliked:

First off, the third book (at least 3/4 of it) made me bawl like a baby, and the best people die for no good reason, except that Cassandra Clare enjoys making us read the most lovable characters' deaths. (Sort of like J.K. Rowling!)

I also detested Tessa in the beginning, who was all, "Women wear trousers?! Gasp!! That is the height of impropriety!" and so delicate with her feelings, that she always wanted to cry. Still, I admired her sense of humor, which was what had Will falling in love with her in the first place.

Yet another problem is the pretentious way she writes. As if she wants to prove to us all she's not an idiot, so using 'big' words is the solution. Frankly, it's really just annoying, but hey, I guess I just have to deal...although I'm not going to avoid mentioning that it DROVE ME INSANE.

I also noticed that Cassandra Clare has a fetish for gorgeous boys with an attitude complex. Jace, for example, and now Will, in 1883. I admire authors that can write a wide range of topics, of genres, which clearly Cassandra Clare can't. In fact, she's so completely obsessed with her Shadowhunters series that I doubt she dreams about anything other than Magnus Bane and demons and attractive guys who are total douchebags.

Greed will do these things to you.


Overall Rating

4.5 out of 5: I loved the plot, the characters, and the romance, not to mention the action and nonstop tragedy they faced. I did not, however, love the pretentious writing, Tessa's character in the beginning, and the fact Cassandra Clare obviously enjoys killing off characters the way I enjoy eating bars of chocolate.